Well, I've been working full time and salaried now for about a month and a half, and what can I say? It's not that much different from when I was temping. It seems that when you're young and in an entry level position, nobody really expects anything from you. No big ideas, no creativity, no initiative. Well, they may expect it but they'd never cop to it because they don't want it. They just want to relish their superiority and not listen to any of your ideas. Thus, they don't have to give any guidance. Kinda like grad school at GW. Wow, I need to move and soon. But I feel kinda stuck here and I don't want to repeat the same mistake I made when I decided to move out here which was that I didn't exhaust all options to change my life since I wasn't happy. Instead I just picked up and moved. It's a difficult thing finding a balance between sticking around too long and cutting out too soon.
All I know is that I'm not feeling this shit anymore! Maybe it's the change of season that's got me feeling down, the cold wind's blowing a chill in my heart. What poetry! Blah! I guess it's time to start planning my options. And since my social life SUCKS I should probably start there. But it's the same shit all the time, lame people hanging around with other lame people and if you hang out with said lame people you feel like they're sucking out the cool from you and leaving you with a shell of yourself. What's left is lameness. I mean, I started seriously wanting to buy a cable-knit sweater! Wellesley cables from J.Crew! I mean, how lame is that!!!!! And my friend pool is so small, which is always a problem for me btw, that I really can't count on them to make me feel better. I just gotta take care of it myself. NOOOOOO!!!! It's so hard!! WAAAAA!!!!
Boys sucks too! I took a look in the mirror the other day and noticed that my skin is getting all wrinkly. Nothing too terrible and made worse because of the cold weather, but still. It made me very aware of that saying "don't waste the pretty." The phrase is actually meant to apply to wasting your good vital years with a lame-o guy that doesn't deserve you. What I'm doing is wasting my good years on the couch in my living room. What am I so afraid off? It really freaked me out though, since what man is gonna want a wrinkly chick with stretch marks and a plethora of moles? Yeah, so the man was a liar and used me, and the boy was just stupid and used me, but I was pretty much using them too...does the dating pool suck this much everywhere? Or is it just DC and it's gajillion women and handle full of men that is the problem? Why are all my blog postings about this same thing? I gotta get a life!
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